Know a Mormon?

I have this blog on my blog roll, and enjoy reading what he has to say.  As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we know we are a "peculiar people", yet it still surprises me when so many people still have not knowingly run across any of us.  I wonder if I am not forthcoming enough about it.  I do tend to socialize primarily with people of my faith because I am rather shy, and often don't get to know my neighbors more than in passing.  Part of that is because of our peculiarity.  I have no desire to go out for a girls' night to drink or whatever. 

The one lady in our building who I have chatted with the most knows that we are LDS, and seemed stunned (shocked? - her husband is a chaplain, Protestant I believe) when I first mentioned it.  I do know that as a family we need to be more outgoing and be better at getting to know those around us.  A former colleague, whose four children have all since joined the church (but not herself), once said to me that "Mormons" seem exclusive and only associate with each other.  I don't think it is intentional on anyone's part, certainly not mine, but because The Church is such a significant part of our lives it just happens.  

Yellow Belt and Green Pudding

Today was the Cubscout Pinewood Derby, as well as our district Relief Society conference, and a community yard sale here in our housing village.  Since Dean was supposed to be home last night, he was to take all the boys to the derby, while I planned to go to the yard sale, then attend part of the conference.  However, Dean's first plane had an issue so was grounded, and the best they could do for him was put him on the same flight the next day...  He should be well on his way and arriving this evening.

So, this morning Tristan's lip started bleeding again.  I had taken him to the hemophilia clinic three days this week already, including yesterday (Friday), and it stops bleeding once he gets factor, but since the factor only has a half life of 8 hours or so, and being in such a vulnerable place, every time he eats or bumps it slightly once the factor wears off, it starts bleeding again.  I washed his bloody bedding and clothing last night, and pretreated it with some Oxiclean gel.  Every bit of it came out!  I am impressed!  The gel comes out liberally, so I used the whole tube of it, 7 ounces for about $4, but it saved everything.

So, what to do this morning?  The wonderful scout leaders hooked Hunter up with a ride to the derby.  They also "helped" him make his car last Saturday - all day long he was at their home.  Apparently it did really well in the races.  I went to the yard sale, then took Tristan (and Kyler) to the clinic, which is open on Saturday mornings, then got home just before Hunter shortly after noon.

The yard sale was a huge success for me!  I can't often bring myself to buy new baby clothes (unless they are marked waaaay down) since I can get them nearly new for so cheap and since they are outgrown in just a few months!  I probably spent about $50, and got a stroller that is in better shape than ours (same brand, similar model for $5), a new maternity swim suit (mine was stolen out of the trunk of my car by some south-of-the-border construction workers in Sierra Vista, AZ, last summer AFTER I had just gone swimming in it - so dripping wet, along with the wet towels), several new-with-tags maternity blouses, and a whole lot of gently used, super cute (I'm choosy) baby girlie clothes in all sizes.  We should be ready now!  My dad has said that a good yard sale is as good as Christmas, and it is sure true!      

Kyler's teacher is putting the yellow belt on him, and gave him the official certificate of advancement.

Kyler advanced from white belt to yellow belt yesterday in Taekwondo.  He sure enjoys it.  Hunter has been trying to get his act together this week, obeying me when I tell him to do something, getting his homework done (though still forgetting to put it in his backpack sometimes), and trying to be pleasant.  He is after more privileges, which is what I've been hoping for, so it might be time to get him on the waiting list for Taekwondo, although we'll have to jump through hoops because of his hemophilia.

A family from church is moving soon and had too much weight, so needed to give away their piano.  I jumped all over it, and now we have a piano again!  Kyler loves "The Little Drummer Boy", so asked me to play it the first night we had it.  I gave Hunter a lesson - his last one was last May, but he seemed to retain everything (which wasn't much - still in the primer level), so hopefully now we can get on track.  I want to institute the rule that he may play video games for as long as he practiced the piano that day, assuming everything else is in order and he has that privilege.  So if he practices the piano for five minutes, he can play games for five minutes... 

I snapped a picture of the final picture they got of this outfit. Indeed, it takes many, many shots to get the right one!

 We have been approached a few times by some modeling agents here on base, who take pictures of the kids to have in case they need them to model.  One lady came by Wednesday evening wondering if Tristan would be available Thursday morning for a shoot.  I had water aerobics, so said we'd be available after 11:00.  She had a taxi come get us and we went to the "studio", if it could be called that.  It looked like a condemned house, but they set up one area to take the pictures.  They "oohed" and "aahed" over Tristan, of course, and put makeup on him, and a little stuff in his hair, then dressed him up in a total of two outfits for the pictures.  I'm not sure if they photoshop his lip wound out, or what.  It doesn't look that bad when it's not actively bleeding. 

We were there for about three hours, which was most agonizing.  While there it sure didn't seem worthwhile, especially since the location was in that house with old, filthy wood floors.  Kyler rolled all over the floor and ran around like a monkey the whole time, of course, and Tristan was in little white outfits...  But, they had lunch brought in and paid Tristan 160,000 won (about $150) and gave Kyler 10,000 won (about $9) to boot.  The other moms that were there do it quite a bit, and told me a lot about it.  Often times it's in a much better location, and there isn't as much waiting around, or if it's an all day shoot the pay is more.  One little girl (about two or three years old) was there alone.  Her parents both work, so they send her with the agent.  Yikes!  It was interesting, to say the least.  We'll see if any more opportunities come up.  I intend to put the money in a mutual fund or something for him, along with whatever other money he has at this point. 

We live very close to a hospital, and always get a chuckle when the patients come outside to smoke, or eat at a  restaurant, or just go for a walk.  About 50% of the men here smoke.  Yuck.

I'm trying to be a little more festive for holidays and such.  There really wasn't any point in cooking corned beef and cabbage without Dean here (Hunter and Tristan wouldn't eat it for sure), so we had split pea soup since it's green, and some pistachio pudding for dessert - ha ha.  At least it was something!

Since Dean was in Albuquerque for an extra day because of his lost flight, I suggested he make a birthday cake for his mom since her birthday is 3/19 (Happy Birthday Dee!!!).  He was stunned at the idea, but I gave him a super easy, fabulous recipe.  I don't think he's ever baked anything before, but he can certainly follow the directions on the cake mix box, and sure enough it turned out wonderfully, and was a surprise for her.  I'm so proud of him!

Bloody the Lip and Black the Eye

This blog is turning into a hemophilia log, it would seem.  I've had a bit of an epiphany.  The reason we had almost nary an issue with Hunter as a tot was because he didn't have any older brothers around.  Kyler has been involved in every single incident we've had with poor little Tristan.  The latest were last week.

 

Kyler and Tristan were up on Kyler's twin bed playing. Then a couple of days later they were playing together on a living room chair; Tristan fell off both.  He was left with a smallish hematoma (knot or bump) on the back of his head, and a cut lower lip.  I decided to watch the lip and see how it did.  Sunday morning it was bleeding but stopped by the time we went to church.  He managed to fall off the pew onto the hematoma but it didn't add much to what was already there.  Monday morning his lip was quite bleeding, and had been all night. It was most pitiful as he bled all over his toast.

Tristan likes to try on all the shoes at Burger King when we go to the play area.

I took him to the hemophilia clinic where they gave him a dose of factor.  They are open business hours, so aren't an option on the weekend.  They always love to see him and comment about how handsome he is.  They did "physical therapy", using ultrasound to help break down the hematoma. 

We went to the museum of natural history with some friends recently.  This slide is three stories, and all the kids loved it.

 At the clinic they asked about Hunter's ear.  I had kind of forgotten about it since it isn't actively bleeding any more.  I picked him up from school and took him over to the base hospital to see if I could get the ENT doctor to have a look.  He did right away, and said there was still so much dried blood in there that he couldn't see the membrane (ear drum).  This doctor is only about the second one I've ever encountered outside the hemophilia community who has even the slightest snippet of knowledge about it.  He asked Hunter if he was descended from European royalty, which Hunter didn't know anything about.  He also asked if he had hemophilia A or B, which is more than most would know to ask. 

In other Hunter news, his teacher told me last week that he had basically stopped doing his homework and finishing his class work when he began the gifted program.  He will be kicked out of the program if he doesn't step it up.  It's no surprise, but I told him how disappointed I was and that he's back to a 6:30 bed time (lights out) and he's more than welcome to eat dinner once he's shown me his completed homework...  My mom thinks he's a distracted child.  I think he is just lazy and disorganized.  

Tristan plays in the basket o' hats and gloves.

He has been interested in makeup lately, especially mascara.  He's not as interested in me cleaning it off.

Success

My friend Lisa's parents had this framed in their home years ago when Lisa and I were college chums.  I eventually bought one for my home, and my dad really liked it and wanted one...  I can attest that #1 is absolutely true - marrying the right person does indeed determine 90% of our happiness or misery in life.  The other 20 suggestions can be applied in the marital relationship as well, contributing to the success of the marriage. 

This was taken a year ago, around the time of our 10th anniversary.

I am forever grateful that I did make the right decision, and indeed regardless of whatever else is happening around us or to us, we have each other and that is everything.  I knew he was "the one", because the Spirit made it very clear to me before his mission.  I remember the unmistakable "burning in the bosom" when I was pondering our relationship as I drove down I-40 in Albuquerque on my way to school one day. 

That answer carried me through two long years of "waiting" for him while he served the Lord in Brazil, starting when I was 19.  We wrote every week (I actually missed one week in there - not too bad out of 100+ weeks) and were permitted to talk on the phone on Mothers' Day and Christmas.  Our love has grown exponentially since then, and I count it as one of the greatest blessings of my life, a fulfillment of my Patriarchal Blessing.  I also know it is a great blessing to our children, to be reared in a home where Mom and Dad love each other, and whose relationship is the primary focus of the home.

I've been thinking about him and our time together because today is the 11th anniversary of our wedding.  He wrote me the sweetest poem, as he occasionally does for such occasions, and set it to music in a power point slide.  I can hardly wait for his return in nine days.

A Gentle Soul

I'm grinning from ear to ear after reading a blog post by a senior missionary serving at Ft. Sam Houston where Darling Hubby has been biding his time.  I married him for many reasons, including that I knew he was stalwart in the Gospel and would never stray from it.  He is perfectly active and upholds our standards, even as he is far, far away from us.  He is a gentle soul and I love loving him.  He is also intellectual beyond my imagination, and as humble as they come.  We sure look forward to having him back in a couple of weeks! 

Stab me in the ear

So I got a call from the school nurse on Monday morning saying that Hunter's ear was bleeding and I needed to come get him.  Weird.  He has had no pain associated with it, it's not infected, and the ear drum is intact.  I couldn't get an appointment that day in the pediatric clinic, so I talked on the phone with the ENT, who thought maybe the tube was coming out.  I opted to try the watch-and-see approach. 

It bled all night, so I loaded them all up and went to the ER first thing Tuesday morning.  They were as hostile as unhelpful as always regarding the hemophilia, and refused to give him the factor I brought.  Instead, they decided it would be best to transport him in an ambulance to another hospital, so I followed in the van.  I never would have found it myself, I'm sure, but it still seems like a huge waste of resources, which the military loves. 

They were extremely nice at this hospital, but we had to wait some time because the pharmacy was busy mixing chemo meds, so they finally asked me to mix it myself.  I hadn't done it for about three years, and the instructions were in Korean.  It has to be done just right, and the clotting factor is extremely expensive.  I followed the pictures, but they left out one part, namely removing the caps on the bottles of the sterile water and the factor concentrate (which aren't obvious), but apparently that step was in the written instructions, and thankfully the nurse dude was able to salvage the factor after reading through the instructions.

Not sure what it means.  We've also seen a "Beer Hunter" sign, but have yet to get a good picture.

Hunter continued to bleed for a few more hours until it finally stopped, and since there was no active bleeding by morning I sent him to school Wednesday, with instructions to not go to recess or horse around at all.  I picked him up when school was out and we went to the bank to get big money, then went to Itaewon to exchange it for Won so we could pay for the factor at the hemophilia clinic.  I have been reimbursed by Tricare for Tristan's treatment from last year ($4500), but not yet for the preliminary testing/xrays/factor for Hunter.  I would have gone to the clinic in the first place on Tuesday, but it was closed for a Korean holiday.

People here often carry their small children on their backs.  This lady looked older, too, perhaps a grandmother.

 The clinic is the most efficient operation I have ever witnessed.  They have a tiny parking lot, holding maybe a dozen cars if they are double and triple parked.  So they have two full-time guys who rearrange cars all day so that people can come and go as needed.  We just wave at the receptionist - she knows us, and then sit down until it's our turn.  Our name will come up on the TV screen in the front of the room, only I don't read Hangul, so usually people will let me know that it's our turn - funny how much an American name (Tristan or Hunter) must stand out.  We then open the door to the doctor's office.  He sits at a desk in front of a computer with our electronic charts.

He looked in Hunter's ear and said the clot was very unstable (he speaks good English) so he would need more factor that day, and said to come back the next as well.  It was impossible to tell what was bleeding in there until we went back Thursday.  By then the blood had cleared out and the other hemophilia doctor who was working that day said that he appeared to have scratched the skin in the ear canal.  Apparently the skin is very thin in there.  At least he didn't hurt the ear drum.  There's a play room downstairs for the kiddos, near where the physical therapists work with patients, so they saw Kyler and one of them brought Hunter's coat to me (that I've been wondering what became of) that he must have left there months ago.  The nurses gave Hunter the factor intravenously and we were out of there within half an hour.  Amazing, especially compared the the 5 hours we spent going to the base hospital, then the next hospital...

Today, Thursday, they gave him another dose of factor and the doc said he should be seen by an ENT to "dress" the wound in there.  I am sure grateful for modern medicine.  Life wasn't so easy for my dad in the days before factor replacement.  He would be laid up in the hospital for weeks at a time when he had a serious bleed, whether external or internal (such as a swollen joint or a big bruise/hematoma).

If it Looks Like a Fish

 We recently attended the 1st birthday party for our branch president's son, and it was in full Korean style.  Apparently back in the day there often wasn't a second birthday, so they made a point of going all out for the first, which is actually at 100 days (9 months gestation plus 100 days is a year, in Korean age).  So we were told to not just eat until we were full, but until we were "tired"; the tradition continues of going all out.  This guy was actually 12 months old.

 Hunter was sent a "flat Stanley" from a friend in the states, with which he was to take a picture of something Korean, so we all went on a walk the other day to see what we could see.

 A Korean college student in Itaewon (touristy shopping district within walking distance of us) came to my aid when my fingers were all sticky with the filling from some hoddeok.  He pulled out some kleenex then wanted to practice his English on us.  He took this picture of us, with my camera.  At one point during our excursion Kyler thought it would be a grand idea to run into the street as a motorcycle came racing by.  I don't know how he wasn't hit.  The driver freaked out and stopped to see if he was OK.  Hunter ran out in front of a car at night a while back, and Tristan did in the parking garage at church not too long ago, giving our branch president's wife a fright.  They must all have a mission in life, as they've survived thus far!  

 On the way home we got some cheap pizza, and tried out these fish-looking treats.  They are filled with a sweet red bean paste, and are tasty, and were only 1000 won for four of them (about a dollar).  Hunter was just sure there was fish in them, and thought the reddish filling was fish guts... 

 Next I decided to stop by the Paris Baguette Cafe (there's one on nearly every corner here) to get some of these cream horns or whatever they are called.  They are filled with cream and are to die for. 

 We recently checked out a new park, which had the biggest bench we've ever seen.  Soon after, Tristan decided to tumble into a frozen pond.  I couldn't get to him quickly enough, so he was soaked in the ice water from the waist down.  My friend and I stripped him and put him in a dry coat.  He didn't like that, but was fine otherwise.  I then had to get Kyler to preschool, then rush home to get Tristan a change of clothes, then rush back to the base to my OB appointment...  Tristan was asleep by then, and I hadn't yet dressed him, so I pushed him fast asleep in the stroller through the hospital with just a diaper and over-sized coat on.  He slept through the appointment...  When Kyler was about his age he went with us to visit the Oregon coast, and did the same thing on the beach, only a small wave went over all of him, so he was soaked from head to toe, in street clothes.

Dean's instructor gave him 36/36 on his paper that he turned in recently, and told the class how great it was and that she was going to submit it to be a finalist for the best paper overall.  There are something like 140 people in the course total, broken into smaller classes.  He was embarrassed by all the attention, but he really did work hard on it.  We're down to three weeks until he is home.

The Countdown

We're down to a month before Darling Husband returns.  He turned in a 10 page battle analysis this week as part of his coursework.  We worked on proof reading it together via skype.  He chose the ancient battle of Cannae between the Romans and the Carthiginian General Hannibal.  Interesting stuff, and apparently the military still applies principles learned from it today.  Hannibal was the victor with his barbarian army.  He has had to sit through a lot of boring days this week listening to people yak for hours at a time.  He says he'd go insane without his iphone to play games on.  He actually got a bit of a reprimand the other day from one of the instructors, another captain, who asked if his games were more important than what the retired general who was then speaking had to say.  Dean said "yes".  Oh, my.  I asked how he ever got through college.  Apparently it was by sitting in the back and listening to Rush Limbaugh on his headphones.  He graduated with honors in biochemistry (I couldn't have begun to do that), so I guess he managed just fine. 

I bought this little coat for $2 when Hunter was little, and now all three have used it.  I asked Kyler to take the ice scraper out to the van, and this is what he wore to do it.

Kyler has sure been flourishing in preschool, and now Taekwondo.  Every day he asks if he's going to school, then is excited if he is because he has Taekwondo right afterward, and loves it.  The other day I was late dropping him off for preschool and his teacher said his little table mates were waiting for him before they would begin their "work".  He has a gift for standing out and making friends where ever he goes.  He puts his Taekwondo uniform away every day in the same place, and doesn't have to be told to put it on or reminded of anything, then runs out the door to go to his class (very close to us in our housing village). 

That is such a stark contrast with Hunter, who is incapable, apparently, of putting anything away, or keeping track of anything, such as his cubscout uniform.  They are supposed to wear the uniform every week to scouts, which is right after school one day.  It boggles my mind how out-of-it he is.  It would most likely be a chore for me to have him in Taekwondo or anything else, because I would have to remind him, and help him find his uniform, and go through the colossal struggle of getting him out the door every time (which was the case when I did have him in a dance class at Camp Lejeune).  Once a day for school that whole ordeal is enough for me.  We've been telling him for years that if he would stop one bad habit (namely eating snot all day) we would LOVE to put him in whatever he wanted.  It hasn't worked at all.  Now I know for a fact that it has caught up with him, finally, at school.  I went to his class Valentine party the other day and some of the girls clearly shunned him and acted like he had given them the plague when he delivered his valentines to them.  I sure felt sorry for him, but it's up to him to stop his bad habit.  If anyone has a cure, PLEASE let me know. 

The boys love to sleep together.  Can you find all three in the toddler bed? Hunter (who can never find his pjs) is wearing Kyler's top and his skivvies.

 Dean really wants me to get Hunter into something extracurricular, and the Taekwondo is so convenient (at least for Kyler) that I want to, so I've finally said that if he could get his act together for one week, I'd put him in it.  It's been a month since Kyler started.  I hoped that would be a motivator for Hunter, but not so much.  He'd only have to get his homework done and signed off daily (a class requirement, which he rarely does), and keep up with his chores, and put his shoes on the shelf next to the front door - for a week.  That's all I ask, but there's no sign yet of any of it happening any time soon.  His teacher at school has said he has the classic absent-minded professor syndrome.  Her own son was apparently the same way, and was actually tested for special ed at school.  Then they figured out that he was gifted, and completely absent minded - just like Hunter.  Hunter is finally in the gifted program, so goes most of the day, one day per week.  He really enjoys it so far.

For Valentine's Day I made pink pancakes for breakfast, following in my mom's footsteps of using beets for the color.  I could hardly tell a difference in taste, but Hunter threw his up.  So much for that.  For the first time I gave them presents for the occasion as well.  Kyler got a package of Spiderman socks and I gave Hunter a new wallet, since he's lost every wallet (money included) he's ever had.  We'll see how long this one lasts.  Their grandma sent them each $20 for the holiday as well, so he took his to school and bought several books at the book fair.  He loves books!  Kyler has been a spend thrift of late, and wants to buy everything in sight whenever we go to the store.  I've stopped allowing him to buy candy, since he's not consistent in brushing his teeth, but I do allow him to buy sugarless gum.  He also wanted to buy some new underwear the other day - I forget who was on it, but Hunter wasted no time in wearing them since, of course, he can't ever find his own. 

Tristan is as cute and adorable as ever.  He is learning to say a few words, and understands what we say pretty well.  His only fault is that he is stingy with his kisses.  If I ever ask for a kiss he'll shake his head and turn away.  Only a couple of times has he given me one.  He doesn't mind receiving kisses, though.  He spends the day racing around the house seeing how much he can pillage and pull out of the cupboards and dishwasher, etc...  Oh, the joy!  This would be about five pounds of buckwheat flour.

 I am growing by leaps and bounds, and have started having braxton hicks contractions.  I am often light headed because I can't seem to drink enough, which probably explains the contractions.  I haven't been able to help myself and have been buying little girlie clothes and things as I see them on sale (75% off at the PX) or that other people are selling.  Dean's only comment was "and so it begins..." 

I was released from the nursery a few weeks ago (yay!!!), only to be called to be the first counselor in the primary.  I am already the only counselor in the district (stake) primary.  Ugh.  But it's been fine so far, just takes some juggling, and I'm able to apply lessons learned between the two callings.  I made my first district primary visit to the Osan Branch last week.  That was nerve wracking - driving somewhere out of Seoul without Dean especially, and dragging the kids along, not to mention that I hardly feel qualified.  But it went remarkably well, which is encouraging.   

Ball o' Baby

 

We attended the Christmas Ball for the 65th Medical Brigade, which encompasses Dean's unit.  As I was gravid (preggers), I had loads of trouble finding something to wear, and forget about finding a modest maternity formal.  Most ladies were in real ball gowns, but alas the one I bought mail order, hoping it would fit, didn't at all.  Nor did the dress I ordered from Motherhood Maternity (way too big).  So I was left with this dress that I got on ebay for cheap.  I hemmed the long sleeves and the skirt, which was a few inches longer than this.  Now I'm wondering what to do with the dresses that are still new with tags - maybe try to sell them on ebay?  It's too late to return them.

 These are the other captains with Dean.  Most vets coming out of school these days are women.  In his graduating class of 135 at Colorado State, 99 were women.  So it's no wonder that there are so many women vets in the army as well.  Dean felt awfully sheepish because he didn't know to wear a bow tie (there were nearly 900 people at the ball, and Dean was the only one in this kind of tie).  We still feel like newbies, and this was our first formal even in the military.

 Rachel and Spence were in attendance as well.

I had my hair done for it, which was a first for me.  The Korean lady who did it must have used half a can of aqua net.  It was like a helmet, but it stayed in place!

Half-way House

Yeah, that's what it feels like around here much of the time; I live with devious miscreants who always seem to be conspiring against me, or against my sanity at least.  We are nearly to the half-way point of Dean's current absence, so 5+ weeks to go.  He is kept busy with assignments at CCC.  I'm trying to keep busy at home. 

I was looking through the most recent pictures uploaded to the computer from our cameras, Dean's camera being his iphone.  There were scores of fuzzy, crappy pictures, taken of a box, or part of someone's head, etc., or this of my sexy army man.  It was pretty much the only salvageable picture of all that the little people had taken, even though it is fuzzy.  I am guessing they got hold of his iphone and snapped away.  I love seeing him in this much of his uniform - only around the house of course.  I am guessing he is peeling fruit for his lunch there.  He towers over me in his boots when I am barefoot, which I usually am around the house.  Tristan pushes the little yellow chair to the kitchen all the time to help himself to all the excitement he can find on the counter tops or the stove. 

I'm way behind blogging signs and sightings in Korea.  I saw this car recently while driving on the freeway.  It took several shots to get a decent one - I was driving after all. 

This would be a small apartment building.  I'm not sure what was intended with the name of it.

I went visiting teaching recently, which was most worrisome as trying to find anything around here for the first time is an enormous challenge for me.  But, we had good directions from our visitee and made it on time.  The boys immediately hunted for her poor cat, who spent the entire time hiding.  They couldn't resist the loft, and ran up and down the stairs quite a bit. 

Tristan is getting better at eating with a utensil, but we have a long way to go.  He isn't screaming quite as much lately, which is a blessed relief.

Hunter went to a birthday party a while back and this was his piece of cake, that the DAD made, our branch president no less.  He had no instructions or anything, just went to town with what he had and made a most amazing cake with a waterfall! 

I'm not sure what happened to Santa here in Hannam Village during the holidays.  His head was back on by the next day, fortunately. 

It's Possible!

I finally had an ultrasound appointment, and the tech said that Baby looks like a girl!!!  She said she couldn't be 100% certain, but more than 90%.  I tried to not go in with high hopes.  For one thing, it's against Korean law to tell women before about 32 weeks what they are having.  I'm no Korean, and this is technically an American hospital, but there have been reports of hardcore ultrasound techs refusing to say, and I'm not keen enough to necessarily identify on my own, especially since it's only ever been a boy so far.  There have also been reports of being told wrong at the ultrasound here at this hospital, so I'm still afraid to fully embrace the idea for fear of disappointment at the birth.  But I'm getting excited nonetheless!  We didn't read the book on how to have a boy or a girl, but I looked up the theory online, and we tweaked things accordingly right around that time - so maybe we finally did it right!  Kyler was in preschool during the appointment, thankfully, so I only had Tristan, and he kept busy scribbling on my chart and disrobing his feet.

In other news, Hunter has been placed in the gifted program at his school.  I don't want to make a deal of it to him, because I've known way too many dysfunctional gifted people and it takes a lot more than smarts to function in life.  Hunter has a hard time getting out the door in the morning...  I told him last week that if he couldn't get downstairs for breakfast (all ready to go otherwise) by 7:00 he would have to spend the day (after school) in his room.  He did just that one day last week, so today when I reminded him of that, he was down by 7, and then had plenty of time to get to the bus.  After school we got him a new bus pass since he's lost his last one.  Baby steps!

Kyler enjoys preschool.  His teacher said the first week he wanted to talk the whole time and didn't get the idea of sitting and doing his little assignments, but he has since gotten in the gear. He pulled out his tooth that has been loose for some time while in preschool last week, and put it under his pillow once home.  He mentioned that the tooth fairy didn't come after all the next morning, so she snuck in when no one was looking after that and he got two bucks!  Whenever we go to the PX nowadays, he says he wants to buy some "junk food" - his words.  Shockingly, a dentist did a screening at the preschool and gave him a clean bill of health.

Interesting...

I saw this posted on Facebook by a friend and found it to be fascinating.  I have the same curiosity when reading such blogs (including some blogs of my friends), especially since in most ways I am a typical Mormon house wife, yet clearly my blog posts aren't so rosy and brimming with only sunshine.  I blog our reality, which truly we have a happy life and I love my role as homemaker, wife and mother, but when I look back on posts of my own that only list the happy details, it feels like the full picture is not accurate.  I imagine and hope that years down the road when we look back as a family (once I print them into books) we will all be able to laugh at our struggles with child rearing and family life, and that the boys will be wonderful men who are well adjusted and fulfilling their divine potential.

What I really like is to check out this blog occasionally.  Truly I could roll on the floor laughing, and this is at least partly why I don't blog (act, talk, etc.) like is parodied on the blog!  It is so right on target, down to the spelling and grammar.  Whoever is behind it is a genius, and what are we if we can't laugh at ourselves?!

In other news, there isn't much, ha ha.  At my last OB appointment the doc tried to see what kind of baby I'm carrying, but Baby was too busy crossing legs and putting hips back to tell.  At the end of the month we'll try again at the next appointment.  We're also going to have to stop calling Tristan "Baby".  He has had the croup since Sunday night (poor Baby!), but after taking him to the doctor and dosing him up with some steriods, I actually got several hours of sleep last night, and so did he.  The previous two nights he spent coughing up his lungs.  No fun.

Kyler started preschool a couple of weeks ago for the first time, and has loved it so far, although today he demanded to know why it is three hours long (three days a week).  I'm not sure why.  It is a hassle to have to drive him all the way to the base, then, by the time I get back home, rush back two hours later to pick him up.  But the three hours of quietude are worth it, I suppose.  He had been on the waiting list all school year, and finally made it in.  Of course he is the oldest and biggest kid there.  Hunter is up to his usual antics.  He has been saying for a while that he wants to be an engineer, so I talked about math and science, and he then wondered what job he could have that would involve reading, since he enjoys reading so much.  I suggested publishing and editing.  At least he didn't ask how he could make a career out of playing video games.

Darling Hubby is still in San Antonio.  Captains Career Course is a lot of work with lots of papers to write and presentations to prepare and give, then the classmates want to go out on the weekends and booze it up, so he got to drive drunks home once last weekend.  He is itching to come "home", but still has nearly 8 weeks to go.  I'm trying to keep my sanity while he's gone, and not eat too much chocolate, ha ha.  I'm attempting to make a t-shirt quilt out of his old t-shirts.  There are many different ways to go about it, and I chose one.  I've never made any sort of quilt or blanket so this is a first.  It's got a couple of flaws already that I can't really fix, but not being a perfectionist, it's OK with me, and hopefully he won't notice.

What did I do

to deserve this?  I often ask myself this question when I'm dealing with my children.  Sounds loving and motherly, huh?  Anyone who has spent much time with my children, especially when they are together, has seen how typical and rambunctious and wild and crazy they are.  The modern fix is to give their boy-ness a name and medicate them  into more subdued behavior, or throw them in front of evil flickering machines (i.e. TV and electronic games) all day, or put them in "school" starting at age three (or 6 weeks), or make the family life revolve around driving them to activities, (instead of revolving around the marriage, which should be the most important relationship in the home) etc., none of which is acceptable to me.  I do understand that they are boys, and that if we lived in more primitive times they would be spending the day tearing things apart (the earth for farming), killing appropriately (food for dinner, skins for many uses), running and screaming joyfully (outside where it doesn't bother Mother), and enjoying and exploring all that the world has to offer.  Instead, we live in an urban setting, cooped up inside most of the time (since it's winter), with three wild boys who live to act out their primal urges and energy, which translates into tearing the house apart around the clock and constant screaming.

Of course I always envisioned myself raising quiet, well-mannered girls who would delight in learning the things I enjoy, particularly homemaking skills such as baking or sewing.  Instead, I keep having boys who could have been raised in the barn and not have any worse habits and manners than they display now (despite being told daily for years that their shirt is not a napkin, "please use the napkin in front of you", for example).  I hate to even spend much time thinking about what this next baby might be.  I don't want to feel disappointment if it is yet another boy, because how could I not be excited for any baby we are blessed with?  And some day, they will be all grown up and won't be trying my patience every waking moment.  I've heard older women whose children have long since been raised admonish young mothers (I hardly feel young any more) to not "wish away their childhoods", yet that is exactly what I often do, such as today when I was touch up painting all over the house because they have grimed it up so much in the six months we've lived here.   In my imagination, girls aren't so filthy

Anyway, with Dean being gone for the next couple of months (he's been gone 8 days now), I've decided to take the bull by the horns and get their most egregious behaviors under control.  I even have a "manual" by which to do it.  I started reading it two times, but couldn't ever get Darling Husband to read it with me, and all the authority figures need to be on the same page and do the same things in order to make it work.  Alas, he finally read it while traveling to the U.S. and is sending it back to me, so that I can finish reading it.  I have started with some things already (I have read a few of his other books, and did read part of this one), and am seeing improvement already, but we have a long way to go.

1.  It's always a huge pain to get Kyler to buckle up in the car.  I would tell him repeatedly to buckle up, he would ignore me and bounce around doing as he pleased.  I even slammed on the brakes a couple of times (at low speed with no cars around) to throw him  into the seat back in front of him.  He didn't like it at all, but it still didn't bother him enough to ever buckle up without the saga.  I once heard an idiot psychologist say that with children "repetition repetition repetition" is the key.  How wrong he is, and how worthless that advice.  Once I implemented the new method, I no longer have to remind (beg, plead, order, demand - all to no avail) Kyler to buckle up - the monkey is off my back.  He often does it on his own now, which is vastly better than never doing it.  Now, if after a reasonable amount of time he hasn't buckled up on his own, I simply inform him that he will be spending an hour in his room.  So far he has spent two or three hours in there (in one-hour increments on separate occasions), and doesn't like it one bit, but he knows he is in the wrong.  The monkey is on his back.  It's working.  Repetition never worked.  On a naturally well-behaved kid it might, but that's apparently not what I breed.

2.  "I wanna sit by Daddy!!!" with an ensuing screaming match and cat fight - at every meal.  I finally got smart and let them choose who would sit by Daddy every day for breakfast (Hunter), and who would every day for dinner (Kyler).  If I have to hear about it, neither one sits by Daddy.  How's that for being a mean mommy?  It's working.  I rarely hear about it.

3.  "I wanna sit in the front!!!" with ensuing screaming match and cat fight - ad nauseum.  And you might wonder why I am not loving every second I spend with them.  Again, we decided who would sit in the "front" (the middle seat of the van) for the trip "there" - happens to be Kyler, and who would sit in the front for the trip "home" - happens to be Hunter.  They have to be separated to prevent fighting.  If I have to hear about who is sitting where, they both sit in the back, separated of course.  Problem solved.

4.  I asked them to do their chores on Saturday.  They ignored me and did nothing.  I did not nag, plead, bribe, etc.  Sunday, they got to spend the day in their rooms, except .for when we went to church.  I had a pleasant day, and Monday morning when I told them to do their chores, they did.  It's working.

5. The screaming.  Constant screaming, primarily from Kyler.  Although Tristan seems to be following in his brothers' footsteps in that he doesn't talk (he's 18 months now).  He says "uh oh", and occasionally says "Mommy" or "Daddy", but I'm not sure if that's because he's calling us or because those are the most commonly screamed words around here.  So he screams all day.  It's getting worse by the day, and has only really started in the last couple of weeks.  He screamed some in church yesterday.  Kyler's screaming frays my nerves and literally causes me ear pain.  His screaming is more or less innocent in that it is when he is "playing" (i.e. running around the house like he alone is a herd of wild hyenas), or just like many little kids screams instead of talking normally (so that he can never hear anyone but himself) but it hurts my ears and my psyche none the less.  Hunter isn't around as much since he's in school, but he loves to scream when he is.  When we had the cookie exchange, Hunter came along and screamed something and one of the ladies jumped out of her skin and actually got after him because it hurt her ears.  I was so glad she did that!  It tells me I'm not crazy - the screaming is painful and must stop, and the more people reinforcing that to the children the better.  So, taking a cue from John Rosemond, I informed Kyler that from now on, when he needs to scream, he may go to the bathroom, close the door, go to the far corner, and feel free to scream his brains out for 15 minutes.  So whenever he screams for whatever reason, he goes to the bathroom (which of course he doesn't want to) and is free to scream all he wants.  Surprise, though (not for me, actually), the last thing he generally does is scream in there.  He is confined for 15 minutes to think about not screaming.  It is working.  The screaming is much less. 

6.  This could go on forever.  Whenever I run errands with the boys, and that includes the eight-year old, I have to spend the whole time beckoning them to me.  They don't just follow me into the store, or stay by my side.  I literally must redirect them every few seconds, as though I was herding cats.  I finally realized that that was ridiculous.  Again, the monkey was on my back.  I informed Kyler that he would be spending an hour in his room for every time that I had to call him to me.  You'll never guess.  Instead of lagging behind a mile, or straying constantly, he stays with me.  It's a miracle.  So far I think he's only spent an hour in his room for that one.  The monkey is on his back, and he's making the change.  That's the whole point of all this.  I cannot change their attitudes or behavior.  My efforts are to give them enough reason to change themselves.  As J.R. says, "a well behaved child is a happy child" - and I might add that such children have happier mothers.

There are too many behaviors to list them all, but I'm seeing an improvement.  Hunter still has the 6:30 bed time, and likely will through the school year, because he still doesn't care enough to do his homework without being told, and I still find socks hidden all over the house, etc. etc. etc.  But at least I have pleasant evenings now (instead of having the equivalent of a pack of coyotes running loose in the house until all hours).  I generally send Kyler to bed then as well, and Tristan if he's ready. 

Hopefully Dean will notice a great improvement in two months.

Yes, we did

- celebrate Christmas, that is.  I didn't manage to take (m)any pictures, though.  I hosted a cookie exchange that was loads of fun.  We enjoyed going to see a huge model train display at a hotel.  It had everything, including a Nativity scene,

 presents,

 a wall o' Santas,

  a huge, beautiful Christmas tree,

 and the ginormous display of trains that went around and around.  The boys all loved it.

 Since I was driving (we've reverted to our normal driving situation, meaning I drive), we parked in the lady parking.

Over the month we also hit a couple of tree lighting ceremonies on the base, one of which even served Chili - score for me not having to come up with dinner!  We also reading stories from a Christmas book that my mom gave us.

 Then we found a little mandu (dumpling - kind of like potstickers, but steamed) restaurant.  We thought the kids would be excited since they love mandu, but it was actually a mandu stew restaurant, and Hunter whined the whole time and wouldn't eat because the mandu was "too juicy".  Then we headed over to city hall to look at the fabulous outdoor Christmas lights.  It sure was cold, but that didn't stop people from ice skating.

 On Christmas Eve, our dear friends Spence and Rachel came over to be festive with us.  Rachel brought a delicious holiday bread, we drank hot chocolate, played Christmas games, and read from Luke 2.  The boys even put on matching pajamas when it was time for them to go to bed.

Normally they dress for bed more like this.

On Christmas day the boys slept until after 6, then we all got up and opened presents, after which I went back to bed.  I was tired after staying up late wrapping!  It was lovely as always, and we're getting everything put away.  We stayed up with the older boys on New Year's Eve and all drank sparkling cider at midnight.  I love the holidays, but it is a relief when it's all over.

Dean left for San Antonio, TX on Jan 2, so we're missing him.  He first went to Albuquerque for a couple of days to adjust to the time difference and get the car, then drove from there.  He has started the captains' career course, and will be gone for about 10 weeks.  I'm working on getting some behaviors under control (from the little people) while he's gone, and hopefully finally getting organized and getting the house fully set up.  I went to the "self help" center on base and borrowed a drill and bit to put holes in our cement walls and finally hang more pictures.  For some reason we do have a few sheet rock walls, but now we're really getting somewhere.

Toilet Fish

 I have failed to post several outings we have had with Captain Cho, Dean's preceptor (or is Dean his preceptor?  I can't keep it straight, but he's a veterinarian) in the Korean army.  He is super nice and we love sight seeing with him, and his wife when she's not at work.  He and Dean had the same day off during the week before Christmas, so we went to the Co-ex mall with him and saw the aquarium, including this two-headed turtle. 

 

 The aquarium was creative and made little aquariums out of everything they could think of. 

 There are fish in each of these pictures - coke machine, kimchi pots, toilet, appliances, and many more items not pictured.

 Look close - the fish are swimming around.

 I always get a kick out of the parking folks who are dressed like this.  Captain Cho wondered why I would take a picture of this guy - it's so common place here to have the parking helpers (ladies included) dressed up like this.

 Across the street from this mall is a Buddhist Temple.  It was free, and frankly I prefer to see stuff like this over aquariums that cost a fortune.

 This is a view while passing under this building which is on stilts (or columns or whatever).

These are tombs or head stones or something along those lines, memorials to high ranking monks.

There was a lantern festival recently, and these hanging lanterns were lovely.  The apartment building in the background is really high end.  Captain Cho said the units go for about five million dollars a piece.  Yikes!

 

 We ate at Jackie Chan's restaurant in the mall for lunch.  It was yummy!